how to train your submissive sex slave wife

no, really. you clicked on this link, but did you think it was this simple? here is a list of instructions, follow them to guaranteed sexual satisfaction with an accepting, obeying, spreading and sucking wife of your dreams.

i wish. YOU wish! but considering how many times people come here wondering how to do it, i figure i may as well give a bit of advice, from my position of extreme inexperience. (after all, i’ve only been in this position for a year or two, though in bdsm for 12 years, and i’ve never actually had my own submissive sex slave wife!)

here are some general guidelines:

  1. do it to her schedule, don’t force her to match the speed you want. as my husband reminded me last night, sometimes we need to slow down as we approach a curve, so we can speed even faster as we come out of it. let the tempo change, respect her fears and needs, so that you can maintain and build trust, and continue leading her and training her. just demanding and enforcing, will only cause fights. show her respect, so she knows she can hand control over to you and remain safe.
  2. don’t expect the fantasy. whatever your fantasy is, your reality is guaranteed to end up somewhere quite different. as you discover your wife’s preferences for submitting, you’ll find new ways of exercising control and getting the pleasure you need. you’ll find that she is filthier in ways you could never have expected – and that it will take her months and years to do something you assumed would happen day 1. if you expect the fantasy, you will be disappointed. if you expect – and accept – the unexpected, you’ll be a lot more successful.
  3. find a balance. a submissive wife needs to be reminded that this is on YOUR terms, not HERS (because that’s what she is enjoying, knowing that you’re in control). while at the same time, she needs to know that she can talk to you, ask for things, and you will listen. just like the song goes, you can’t always get what you want. always be prepared to listen to her, and respect her, and you’ll find you get a lot more satisfaction. offer her the sexual dominance she wants from you – but don’t push it on her if she’s not ready.
  4. create structure. not just arbitrary rules – you want to create a framework where she understands that marrying you has placed her in a specific, defined position, and that is where she needs – and wants – to stay. create a structure that helps her stay there, and makes it enjoyable for her. punishment can help, perhaps, just maybe, but can much more easily hinder, damage, and totally destroy. what you want is obedience and submission, not to be punishing her every moment (punishment to avoid is the cruel, painful, degrading stuff designed to force her right down into her role, and in doing so, will most likely make her rebel entirely and demand you stop entirely). good structure will help her settle into her place, and recognise her position beneath you (in every possible way).
  5. and finally … all of the above isn’t necessarily correct. you really will have to figure it out for yourself. your wife is unique, your relationship with her is special, and your control over her will come with time as you discover what works for you.

did that help at all? šŸ™‚ if not … spank me šŸ˜›

4 thoughts on “how to train your submissive sex slave wife”

  1. How do I bring up the subject of being a submissive wife with someone who is vanilla and very passive about sex in general?

    • I didn’t “bring it up” because my wife is (was) similarly vanilla (missionary, very infrequent/short-lived foreplay or oral). However, one night I simply slipped a soft shirt around her eyes and ripped another one apart to use as makeshift cuffs. Spent a lot of that night teasing and talking to her about how she felt, what she liked, and what else she wanted. Then we transitioned to actual sex in a “restrained blindfolded missionary” – which took her experience up a few notches. Knowing that she now liked to be restrained, I surprised her with a simple under-bed set of restraints (cheap, comfortable, Amazon prime). That and some low temp wax (which she had requested in our first foray into BDSM) took her to another level. She has become much more receptive to discussing sex, though still doesn’t always go for kinky talk outside our space. And the kicker is that she is really enjoying it. I just discuss boundaries with her as we go and have even spent entire sessions focused on her. Letting her know that I meant I want her to experience pleasure in ways that she hasn’t imagined (and demonstrating it isn’t all about me) seems to have really opened her to the.possibilities.

      Thanks for this blog. Hoping to pick up a few pointers to make sure our journey into this lifestyle goes smoothly.

  2. Interesting

  3. JacobKittyFan said:

    This was a great read. Finding that balance has been the hardest but most enjoyable part of my experience with my Sub. She responded in ways I would not have imagined. Great Blog. Looking forward to the next post.

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