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it changes over time, doesn’t it. obedience looks like adoration and love one night, and the next night it’s a churlish agreement to go to bed early even though the last thing i want to do is be fucked. one night it’s me eagerly proffering my ass to him and hoping it hurts, and the next night it’s me wishing he would stop touching me because i’m getting wet and he can tell and now he knows i’m turned on though i don’t want him to fuck me and he’s fucking me and i wish he wasn’t and if he stops i’ll kill him.

one night obedience is racing off to shave just the littlest bit of regrowth of my cunt hair. it’s buying new sexy underwear, trying to find the perfect pair of crotchless panties. it’s showing him the different njoy models and asking him when we get to buy them. it’s grinding my ass into his cock in bed when he says “i’m going to give you a night off tonight cunt.” it’s dropping to my knees in a heartbeat when he gives me that look in the shower. it’s easy, it’s fun, it’s obeying because i want to be fucked and used and to be the centre of attention.

the next night obedience is falling asleep finally, knowing he’s fucked me the last 3 nights solid and by now i’m so sore he must realise he can’t do it again without being a real asshole. and he wakes me up with a finger in my cunt, and it’s burning and it jolts me awake, and i jerk away from him, and he drags me back and immediately pushes his huge, hard cock into me, and grips me by the throat, and it burns so fucking much, and he fucks me silently, hard, fast, pounding into me, choking me, and cums, and i’m sobbing from the sensations and the pressure and the tiredness.

and i immediately crawl down to clean up his cock the second he pulls out of me. and he holds my head there for a while, and i suck slowly and softly all the cum and juices off his cock, and my tired head is in a daze, and he pulls me back up, and says “go to sleep now. good girl.” and i am so glad he fucked me til i bled for the fourth night in a row.

i go with it. i don’t think i really want to stop it. i prefer to obey than to be where we used to be. i prefer the pain, the humiliation, the degradation, the rawness, the relinquishing of self-control, the willingness to do disgusting things that embarrass me … i need it. i need to obey, because now i know real pleasure. pleasure which causes horrible pain. i obey that pain. i obey my master. i obey my husband. i am his slave.

i obey.