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i call it training because anal sex has been quite haphazard recently. sometimes a plug, sometimes a finger, sometimes a full-on reaming of my ass with his cock, the kind that left me in a huge sobbing jag at the end of it. then the next night, nothing. very unpredictable. perhaps that was what he was going for? anyway.

the last 3 nights, after i begged for anal, well, now he’s decided i need to be brought in line again. he loves me begging for things, but i think he wants to control my desires more strictly – like, i’m the slave, i shouldn’t be begging for something and receiving it, so easily. there should be little left that i want, because i should be being used so thoroughly and frequently.

so rather than let it happen naturally, anal sex is now being forced upon me quite precisely and unavoidably. every night for the last 3 nights he comes to bed and puts the butt plug in me, just a little jeweled one, but enough. then after about half an hour of intense touching and sometimes fucking my cunt and/or mouth, he pulls the plug out, and fucks me in that very “i’m teaching you a lesson” way. the kind where he is rhythmic in his thrusts, and keeps to his own pace rather than letting my gasps of pain influence him. then he’ll pull out, perhaps cumming first or cumming on my body somewhere. or not at all. just enough to prove my role to serve him anally and be hurt if necessary. then the butt plug goes back in, the chastity belt goes on, and i go to sleep.

that’s the anal training, and i know it sounds very simple. but anyone who’s been through this also knows it’s quite painful, and very effective. because rough, demanding, anal sex doesn’t just leave a quiet twinge the next day – it leaves a sore, aching hole. and then that night, when that rough, demanding, anal sex happens again? it causes tears and lots of agony and frequently fruitless attempts to “just relax, babygirl”. and then the next morning he fucks me in the kitchen so hard i’m crying and it’s just to prove he can and i love it but holy fuck. and then that very same night, when it’s now very rough, very cruel, very forced, simply because it hurts so bad and i beg for it to stop and he keeps on going and i am crying and i love being in this slave space but it really really hurts – and then he pulls out and i moan and he puts in the butt plug and buckles on the chastity belt and i am still crying and then it takes a long time for him to soothe me and bring me back to earth and remind me of his love for me and how the wetness of my cunt (because goddamn my fucking whorish nature that cunt of mine always gets wet when my ass is being brutally used like that) proves that i actually do enjoy it and recognise it is right for me …

that third night, it’s pretty insane, and that kind of training is just fucking intense.

he won’t tell me when it’s going to end. just take it as a given, dear reader, that for the foreseeable future, every night i will be being fucked in the ass and then plugged for the night with the chastity belt locked on.

(the part where i’m not fucking terrified of the rest of the week, is the fact that i already can feel my ass loosening back up, and i’ve already started to look forward to bedtime. what the fuck is wrong with me … this is why i need my husband to control me, because otherwise i would be paralysed by embarrassment, self-hatred and lust.)