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shouldn’t that read “romantic flower arrangements” or “elegant diamond rings”? well, i could show you my killer wedding ring and the roses he bought me last week. but why the fuck would i waste your and my time! the most intense intimate connection i have with my husband right now is when i am obeying his demands to fuck my ass. how tremendously unromantic! but when done right, it’s incredibly powerful. so let’s talk positions.

1. the spoon. he holds me to him in what could appear to be a gentle lover’s embrace. but his arms are very strong, and they don’t yield. he wraps me up, and has the perfect angle to fuck me, but not too deep. this is often the position we start in. i struggle like crazy, secure in the knowledge i can’t stop him for even a second. he grips my throat with one hand, pinches my nipples, finger fucks my cunt, whatever he feels like.

2. all fours, doggy-style. pretty fucking brutal. i often collapse, and he is forever ordering me to stay in position. he holds my hips in position, and fucks me as easily and deeply as if he’s fucking my cunt. to me, it feels like i’m being speared and spread and controlled. i also know roughly what this would look like to an outsider … and i feel like a whore.

3. on my stomach. face in the pillow, hands pinioned behind my back. i lose the ability to tense up and provide resistance to him, and so he gets as deep as possible, and i’m just forced down onto the mattress, struggling to breathe, moving with him as he thrusts in and out, and it’s at this point i often give up entirely, because i can’t maintain the tension in my muscles. and at that moment, he can feel it, and that’s when he fucks my ass brutally hard and fast and that’s why he’s pressing my face into the pillow, so my screams are muffled.

positions 2 and 3 are best for him. and pathetically and humiliatingly enough … position 3 is best for me too.