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we haven’t used toys for quite a while. no cuffs, spreader bars, speculums, bit gags. it’s been a lot of sheer mental dominance, and that is plenty effective to control me. so i was a bit surprised when he brought them out a few nights ago. no explanation, probably part of the fun for him, certainly part of the curiosity and hesitance on my part. but i didn’t argue, i did ask what was going on, but he wouldn’t say. cuffs on, wrists and ankles. on my stomach, on the bed. cuffed to the headboard. spread legs a bit, cuffed to the foot of the bed. clothing off, in case you were wondering.

hood put on then – and in that position, i couldn’t lift my head enough for him to put it on – he had to support my head and guide the hood down. feeling particularly helpless at this point. tightening the hood, penis gag in. i was wet by this point, hoping my body was sufficiently inviting in this position that he’d use it, he’d use me.

he didn’t leave me, thankfully. i was so ready. he was totally silent. i felt him shifting above me on the bed. then spreading my ass cheeks wide. drips of lube onto my hole. his fingers pressing on my anus, pushing inside, moistening me, getting me ready. i was breathing deep, suddenly realising that this wasn’t going to be hot bondage traditional sex, but something a bit heavier, certainly. but i was confident i’d be okay, so i went with it. and i trust him, of course.

once my ass was wet enough for him, he got started. he was obviously incredibly turned on, because his cock was as hard and thick as ever. still silent, he just slowly pushed his cock into me, deeper and deeper, the lube letting him in even as i clenched convulsively and squirmed under him. why do i even bother doing that? must be some fight or flight thing.

anyway, in it went, his cock, deep into my ass, and i was able to just breathe deep through it, letting it in and fighting it, breathing and drooling into the hood. clamping my lips down on that penis gag, picturing it being another cock fucking my face as my husband fucked my ass. 

which he did. for quite a while. deep, shallow. in, out. hesitate, and then thrust deep and hard into me. pound me constantly until i was shaking and limp under him. pull out entirely, let me hope for relief, and then fuck me until he almost came, and then he stopped. and made me wait. stretched, torn, and waiting. 

what was going through my head? a bit of disappointment, i have to say. he brought out all the toys, and i assumed it’d be a return to playful, respectful bdsm sex. and then i told myself to get over it, that this was my role. and that worked for a while. and then i just started to picture myself as a woman he didn’t even know, tied to a bed in a strange room, where he walked in, used her, and left.

and then i got even wetter.

and then i realised that’s almost how he saw me, right then. a collection of holes tied to a bed.

and i got even wetter still.

and he kept fucking my ass, kept tearing it open with his cock, i was bouncing on the bed and he was gripping me til it hurt, and he fucked me like it was just my cunt, and it went so deep i swear it hadn’t been that deep before.

and he pulled out. finally. and i heard him gasping as he sprayed his cum onto my ass cheeks.

he rolled over, and lay next to me on the bed. reached under me and twisted my nipples for a few minutes. untied me. took me to the bathroom. showered us both. i was trembling a bit. i wondered if he was going to do more to me, but he didn’t. i sorta hoped he would. sorta feared he would. he just put the collar on me, put a regular sized butt plug in me, and buckled on the chastity belt. i reached up to him for a hug and kiss good night.

“did it feel good?” he asked me, looking at me with eyes that gave nothing away.

“no. it hurt. you went so deep. it hurt. …”

he waited. he knew there was more.

“but it felt good.”

“it feels good when it hurts. because it puts you down there. and that’s where it’s best for us. best for you. when you’re down there. that’s why i did it.”

i knew exactly what to say then. what i felt, even as my ass was being treated like a fuckhole through the night by the plug he locked into me. even as i felt the tears and soreness that he had done to me without once asking if i wanted it. what i felt, as i struggled to reconcile the pain with the pleasure.

“thank you, master.”

he waited.

” thank you for using me, master.”

he reached down, pinched each nipple, twisting them til i was gasping, keening, grimacing in pain.

and then, a kiss, a hug, and he left.