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And then there was this morning. We both woke up early, and I was going to get out of bed, but he pulled me to him, ripped off the chastity belt and threw aside the butt plug, shoved two fingers into my cunt, pinched my nipples til I squealed, and began fucking me from behind. No words, no nothing. About 2 minutes from his hands on my body to his cock spearing my cunt.

And again, I didn’t really want it.

In fact, I really did NOT want it.

I wanted to get up, to take off the collar, to start my day. I was sore, I felt humiliated and like a whore after remembering what I had begged for the night before – his cock in my cunt, the butt plug strapped in all night. I wanted to get rid of it all and have a nice normal day.

And he didn’t even say good morning. He didn’t even do the silent touching where he feels out my body to see how receptive I am. He didn’t stroke me. He didn’t hug me or hold me. He shoved his fingers in with the obvious intention of opening me up, spreading my lips in preparation for his cock. He pinched my nipples not in the fun teasing turn-on-my-slave way, but in a way that told me he was here to hurt me. And then when he fucked me, it was rough and fast, forcing his cock into me all at once, piston-fucking me immediately, going until he came, his breath hot in my ear.

Then he pulled away. “Thanks for that, babygirl. You’re just a hole for me.” He rolled over, and I was obviously dismissed. I knew he was doing this to drive home the lessons from the night before – and I lay there for a few minutes, stunned, aching, seeping cum, and feeling so calm and peaceful.

Some key things I realised in those moments:

  1. It is NOT always going to feel good. It’s going to feel like he doesn’t care about me. It’s going to feel like I’m a bought whore for him to use just as he wants.
  2. I am ALWAYS going to get wet when he uses me.
  3. This is why I’m not allowed to make decisions about sex any more; he makes the right ones that get me sopping wet, and that’s why he has total control over my body.
  4. If I am not in the slave headspace when we start, I’m always way down there when we finish.
  5. It is possible to hate something and want to refuse and want it to stop and feel like I’m being abused, and desperately want it to not end and want to lose myself in submission and want to be used harder and humiliated more.

And yes, I’m getting wet typing this up, and I hope he fucks me right now, and I hope he doesn’t, and all I know is I am glad I’m his submissive sex slave wife.