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So such a beautiful yet rough fucking on the way home from Xmas yesterday. And it’s the end of a long day, and to be honest, I’m feeling a bit exhausted. Not in the mood. I go to bed, and he follows soonafter. The routine kicks in – he gets into bed, I close my book, turn off the light, and present. Some very rough mauling signals that he plans to use me tonight (so far I don’t think there’s been a night he hasn’t). I struggle with this internally – I’m wet immediately, but I don’t want to give in. I tell him as much, that I’m not refusing him – I wouldn’t dream of it – but that something feels off for me.

He listens, understands, assures me he’s still going to use me anyway. I get wetter and start spooning back into him so his cock – rock hard and massive – is slipping between my dripping wet cunt lips. But I still don’t feel into it. But I’m gasping and bending and twisting trying to get his cock into me.

He pulls away, and gets a new butt plug, which goes in easily enough. Then he tells me he’s not going to fuck me. I beg him too – not just ask, we’re talking pleading, and “please Master” isn’t enough, I have to say it all, “please Master, I want you to fuck me, please put your cock in my cunt.”

He flips me on my stomach, and pounds into me, I’m still a bit sore and I don’t really want to do this, and I am grinding and bucking and getting as much of his cock into me, feeling my holes stuffed and stretched. I want to just go to sleep, I don’t want to be fucked, and I want more in me.

After we stopped, I tried to explain this, that I still felt strange, and that I wanted to feel down there again, which is how I describe being in slave headspace. Being down there. Held down there. His foot on my neck.

I beg him for the butt plug in overnight, and he gives it to me, and straps the chastity belt so tight that my cunt lips graze the outside and are cut into. I love it. He pulls me over his knee and spanks me, hard, and I collapse into him. He pinches and pulls my nipples, hard. I gasp with pleasure and pain. He has me give him head for quite a while; cock to the back of my throat, face fucked in that position, and then he presses my face into his balls, I can’t breathe, I’m  taking them in my mouth and he has me by the hair, and he masturbates until he cums.

By this point I’m pretty far down there. And he points out to me that no matter what I ask for from him (and he wants me to ask, so he knows how to take advantage of me), the fact that he just had my face rammed into his balls and a butt plug strapped into my ass, while he pleasured himself – this is proof that no matter what, I’m really just here for him.

I fell asleep quite peacefully after that. Collar on, butt plug in, chastity belt on. I was deep down there, and content.