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it’s been the weekend, which means it’s been a haze of late night wake ups, mid morning fucks, and casual humiliation while getting dressed. more time to breathe on the weekend means there’s no reason to stop what we’re doing; no alarms, no deadlines. i’ve been so exhausted from no sleep and too much sex, so it’s all run together in my mind. some things i can remember though …

saturday afternoon, it’s okay, it’s just going to be a cuddle on the bed … no, it’s going to be a very Master/slave dynamic cuddle on the bed, playing with my nipples until i’m gasping out, and i know i ended up sucking his cock for quite a while … i’m good at it apparently, the way i lick up and down the shaft with my tongue outstretched, and how i flick the tip of my tongue all around his head, and then how i can manage about 7″ to the back of my throat, how i willingly suck his balls into my mouth while he masturbates, until my face is coated with pre-cum and my own spit. apparently this is good. so good that he had to fuck me.

and i was so sore inside from all the fucking, that i was insanely tight, and it felt like knives and bruises. it hurt the whole time. of course i didn’t stop him. he eventually stopped, and i started to breathe again, and then he plowed immediately into my ass, a lot less gentle than last time, which was already getting rough … so now this is something he has no qualms about, no hesitation, he just rams his cock into my ass, which was similarly tender. i’m pretty certain i was screaming again. i know it hurt like hell. of course i didn’t ask to stop.

after all this i was in such a slavespace. i could scarcely talk. i got dressed, and just held him in the doorway. he asked if i wanted anything. i whispered – i pleaded – the butt plug. so i got it. roped in with a harness. then i think he fucked me in my cunt while it was in? or was it just a lot more head? maybe i just gave a lot more head. and then i was regretting asking for it, and i was just wanting it all to end. loving it, wet as a whore, but still needing to stop. and he took out the butt plug, and untied the harness. finally.

and then he fucked me in the ass again. and now i was looser, because i am such a slut, and this is how it makes sense to me, and i was loose, and it went in so easy, and i cannot explain this clearly because everyone else seems to do anal all the time in the bdsm circles online, and i’ve been sexually active for 14 years, and this is the first time i’ve really done it, so within 1 or 2 weeks we’ve gone from maybe a bit of an ass plug play now and then, to having a 9″, quite thick cock being rammed into me by my Master who i cannot say no to, who ass fucks me, without asking permission, with only a bit of lube if i’m lucky, who forces my face into a pillow so i scream my pain and he doesn’t have to hear me, who fucks me so fast in my ass i feel like a fucktoy. this is rapid descent.

and i do like it, i do. he asks me “did it hurt? did you like it?” and the answers to both questions are yes and no. and he laughs at me, indulgently, stroking my face, twisting my nipple, and bending me over to fuck my cunt again, and fingering my ass, and by this point i was actually crying because i couldn’t moan or scream any more, and i felt the tears well up, and i wished i hadn’t asked for that butt plug. and then he made me present to him on the floor – hands on my head, forehead on the ground, ass in the air, knees spread wide – while he went and cleaned off in the bathroom.

that was a bit of saturday. i think that’s the day it became clear to me that my ass is not off limits; fucking my ass hurts and he does it as a way of asserting his dominance over me; i love being fucked like this and knowing i’m just a hole; i cannot put into words how good it feels to be down here.